Just let go and enjoy the show!

“Get caught in the race of this crazy life.  Tryin’ to be everything can make you lose your mind.”

–‘American Honey’ by Lady Antebellum

So, last night I was sitting on my couch writing this, watching American Idol and searching online for the perfect quote to summarize this post.  I was getting really wrapped up and frustrated in trying to find the all encompassing quote that I was so caught off (and pleasantly surprised) when the newly eliminated Michelle said it so eloquently.

“I got so wrapped up in trying to do everything right and being judged instead of just focusing on performing.”

Ahhh, yes, that is what I was looking for.  And it brings me to a point that I’ve been struggling with for some time now – you can’t always do everything “right” or “good.”  Michelle is obviously a great singer – she made it into the top 20 – but at the time of her elimination, the only thing she could focus on was singing the “right” way and being judged.  She failed to acknowledge the success she had already achieved and I think this is a great lesson that we can all learn from – you aren’t always going to be the best at everything you try and that’s okay!

Here’s how this lesson relates to my life.  Some of you may know that I’ve recently taken up tennis.  It’s quite comical actually because I’ve never really played sports.  Uh, minus my short stint at volleyball in middle school, but I don’t count that because I could NOT serve for the life of me.  I’m not exaggerating either because my coach used to rotate me out of play when it was my turn to serve and then put me back in (true story – you heard it here first).  J

Anyways, I had been looking for a physical activity to do after work so when my coworker, Jolene (@jolenegurtis) came into my office and asked me if I was interested in taking tennis lessons with her, I said yes.  By lunch we had invited friend and coworker, Lauren (@Lmnovo) and by 6 p.m. my roommate, Julie was on board, too.  I was super excited and I really started to look forward to Mondays (Looking forward to Mondays?  Such a crazy concept!)

For the next five weeks, the four of us went to tennis lessons every Monday evening for two hours.  We learned all the basics of tennis: ready position, forehand, backhand, forehand and backhand volleys, overheads, serving and all the rules for playing an actual game of tennis.  It was so much fun!  The first three weeks were awesome and I really thought that I was advancing (and I was, but not nearly at the pace as my three counterparts).

By the fifth week, we split up and were playing individual games with a partner.  My partner (another woman in the class) and I kept giving each other points because our serves weren’t making the cut.  Our coach forced us to stop playing the game to practice serving, while Lauren, Jolene and Julie kept playing with their partners.  I was really disappointed.  And, to top it off, we found out that to move on to the advanced beginner’s class we’d all have to try out.  I asked one of our instructors if it was likely that I’d move up and she said, “You might want to take the beginner’s class one more time.”  Just great, I thought, one more thing I’m not good at.

Long story short, I left our last lesson feeling very discouraged and for what reason?  Because I wasn’t as “good” as my friends?  I should have been happy that I found an activity that I enjoyed doing after a long day at work.  I should have been thankful that my instructors actually want me to improve and have a solid foundation for the basics of tennis.  And, I should have been extremely honored that out of all the women in the class, I was Ms. Congeniality!!  (Okay, so we didn’t really get physical awards, but both instructors agreed that I totally would have won Ms. Congeniality and, let’s be honest, we all know that’s the best award to win!)

The point is, no matter what you try or how many hobbies you have, it’s okay to not be the best. Don’t let that discourage you from finding something that really interests you.  I truly believe that from your interests stems your passions. I keep reminding myself that although I may not be the best at tennis, there’s a lot of other things I’m really good at, like having a contagious personality and making people laugh, baking the infamous seven-layer chocolate and strawberry trifle (sorry, Steph, but I think I’ve finally mastered the trifle and can make it better than you now), being a reliable friend and colleague and remembering names and dates.  Oh, and the game ‘Clue?’  I am seriously the champ of Clue – no one can beat me!

And, so from this story stems another lesson that is important to learn: don’t think any less of yourself because there are other people out there better than you… there always will be.  And, more importantly, don’t compare yourself to others.  Don’t ask yourself, “What does she have that I don’t?”  You are special and unique and there are things that you’re “good” at that no one else it.  What are those things?

P.S.  If you’re looking for an awesome song that summarizes this post, listen to this one!

P.P.S.  In case you missed it last week, I wrote a guest post over at Lauren’s blog, “Gen-Y PRogress” about the “Art of: Patiently Waiting.”  You can read it here. I’ve decided that I need to learn how to take my own advice.  J

“Birds of the same feather flock together.”

“To have a good friend is one of the highest delights in life; to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings.”  –Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s a well-known proverb out there that I love (and hate all at the same time) – you are what you eat.  And, although it’s a difficult concept to grasp, here’s what I’ve come up with: my bum probably does resemble cinnamon buns more than I’d care to admit and my arms remind me of green beans (probably because I don’t go to kickboxing as often as I should).  Either way, this analogy leads me to something that, we, as students and young professionals can all learn from: you are who you surround yourself with.

When you think about it, it makes complete sense.  If you want to make yourself savvy in the financial arena to learn more about stocks and bonds, then you’re obviously going to want to spend time with someone who knows a lot about stocks and bonds.  It’s a common ground you two will have.  Unfortunately, this is a door that swings both ways.  If you spend time people who lie, cheat and steal, then it’s inevitable that you will, too.

When I was in college, I was very selective with my friends.  I wasn’t, nor will I ever be, about quantity.  I’d rather have five best friends than 25 acquaintances.  I specifically chose friends who had qualities that I wanted to emulate.  This post is also being used as a shout-out to one of my best friends, Megan, so I’ll use her as an example.

I’ve known Megan for about three years now and I can honestly say that she has only influenced my life in a positive way.  Megan and I have a lot in common from our work ethic, faith, leadership qualities and expectations of ourselves and others (and, as a side note, we have GREAT senses of humor).  When we were in school, I always admired Megan’s appreciation for learning and her knowledge of the public relations industry, in general.  She was the president for the student chapter of the Florida Public Relations Association at Florida State.  Megan had those qualities that I wanted in myself (i.e., character and time management) and I found that the more time I spent with her, the more I challenged myself to do things that would make my qualities stand out (i.e., honesty and enthusiasm).  As time passed, we began to pick up on the other’s traits and a great friendship flourished – one that I’ll always have.  (And, lucky for me, she loved watching Jon and Kate Plus 8 and The Hills on Monday nights so this became a weekly ritual).

After graduation, Megan took a huge leap of faith and moved to Chicago before securing a job.  I’ve always admired her for making such a gutsy move, but she did it because she knew that she wanted to be in Chicago – that that’s where she’d be happy.  Within a week (maybe two), she landed an awesome internship at an agency in the city.  She always gave 100% and dedicated herself to the accounts she was working on.  She interned there for about eight or nine months before securing the job she has now.

Megan was definitely capable of working in this industry, but because of the economy she wasn’t able to land a gig in Chicago.  But, she took advantage of every networking opportunity she could and remained positive.  The full-time job she has now, Megan got because of one of her internships in Tallahassee – weird how things work out like that, huh?

A few weeks ago, Megan packed up, left Chicago and moved to Royal Oak, Michigan (right outside of Detroit).  Last week, she started as the Associate Planning Director in the Corporate Communications department for Ford Motor Company.  I don’t really know what that means or what her official job duties are, but I know it’s an amazing position and there isn’t any one person more qualified than my best friend.  I’m so happy for her and proud of her that, despite it all, she never lost hope or determination.  I am lucky to call her a friend and can only hope she’s learned as much from me as I have from her.

So, let this be a lesson to every young person out there.  Find people who have qualities that you want to have and I guarantee you, those qualities will start to rub off on you.  Megan’s character, leadership and sense of humor and fashion have definitely rubbed off on me and whenever I need advice or guidance, she’s one of the first people on my list to ask.

Take a close look at the five people you spend the most time with: are they a representation of what you want others to see and recognize in you?

Megan and I on Graduation Day!

Megan's mom, Megan and I in downtown Chicago - November 2009